A big thanks to Ruth for sending me this excerpt from an interview with Francis Chan. I thought it’d be good to share with the rest of you too.  

EN: Was there a time of your life when you were inclined to turn away from God?
FC: The only time I can remember when I thought about genuinely turning away from God, was when my grandmother died and she was Buddhist. My brother and I watched her die and we were in the room as the doctors turned the EKG off—you know the machine that was keeping her alive. Watching the EKG go flat was so disturbing to me—the thought that she was going into eternal punishment and it was so hard for me to bear and accept. I was very tempted to just walk away from everything I knew. But my logic wouldn’t allow me to do that. I would have to throw away all the knowledge I knew—the knowledge of prophecy and history and I would have to throw away all that I knew to be true to my heart. But at that moment that I wanted to walk away from God, because if I was right my grandmother would be spending eternity in hell and that was just too much for me, but I couldn’t turn away from what I already knew. I just had to deal with the pain and I have to deal with the pain even to this day.

EN: How do you deal with the pain?
FC: Honestly, I try not to think about it, which probably isn’t the right thing to do. Maybe it is the right thing because I’m supposed to dwell on things that are excellent and praise worthy and lovely. I think it’s painful and it’s meant to be painful and it’s supposed to spur me on to not want to feel that pain again and so I do everything I can to tell people what the love of Christ has done for them. It’s just like every other pain in the world. You don’t know how you get through it but you do.

What do we do when someone we love dies, and as far we know, they died without ever receiving Christ as their Saviour, their sin-bearer? How do we react? Intellectually accepting what the Bible says is one thing, having that belief tested through personal experience is another.  

There’s an added pain in losing an unbelieving loved one because you know that they face the judgement of God. The Bible gives us plenty of pictures of God’s justice and what our sin deserves for us to have a small idea of how dreadful it will be. It’s a knowledge that’s hard to bare.

And yet in the Bible all the pictures of heaven are of a people rejoicing, joyful, worshiping. There are no tears, no crying, no grief. There is a clear vision of God in all his glory. We’re able to stand in his presense and enjoy the pleasures of living with him for eternity. We’re told that in his presense there will be fullness of joy (Psalm 16v11). How can this be so when people we love are in Hell?

I haven’t completely got my head around this. I don’t think I ever will. For now I just have to accept this truth with tears and trust that one day I will be able to see and embrace all that I can’t fully understand at the moment. Sin is more awful and we are more guilty than I can comprehend right now, but on that day I imagine that I’ll be too overcome with how unworthy I am of heaven and how amazing it is for God to have saved anyone instead of rightfully condemning ALL to Hell to think about much else. Is this unloving? C S Lewis doesn’t think so. I read The Great Divorce recently and found this bit particularly helpful:  

‘And yet… and yet…,’ said I to my Teacher, when all the shapes and the singing had passed some distance away into the forest, ‘even now I am not quite sure. Is it really tolerable that she should be untouched by his misery, even his self-made misery? [...] What some people say on Earth is that the final loss of one soul gives the lie to all the joy of those who are saved.’

‘Ye see it does not’

‘I feel in a way that it ought to.’

‘That sounds very merciful: but see what lurks behind it.’

‘What?’

The demand of the loveless and the self-imprisoned that they should be allowed to blackmail the universe: that till they consent to be happy (on their own terms) no one else shall taste joy: that theirs should be the final power; that Hell should be able to veto Heaven.’

‘I don’t know what I want, Sir.’

‘Son, son, it must be one way or the other. Either the day must come when joy prevails and all the makers of misery are no longer able to infect: or else for ever and ever the makers of misery can distroy in others the happiness they reject for themselves. I know it has a grand sound to say ye’ll accept no salvation which leaves even one creature in the dark outside. But watch that sophistry or ye’ll make a Dog in a Manger the tyrant of the universe. ‘

‘But dare one say – it is horrible to say – that Pity must ever die?’

‘Ye must distinguish. The action of Pity will live for ever: but the passion of pity will not. The passion of Pity, the Pity we merely suffer, the ache that draws men to concede what should not be conceded and to flatter when they should speak truth, the pity that has cheated many a woman out of her virginity and many a statesman out of his honesty – that will die. It was used as a weapon by bad men against good ones: their weapon will be broken.’

‘And what is the other kind – the action?’

‘It’s a weapon on the other side. It leaps quicker than light from the highest place to the lowest to bring healing and joy, whatever cost to itself. It changes darkness into light and evil into good. But it will not, at the cunning tears of Hell, impose on good the tyranny of evil. Every disease that submits to a cure shall be cured: but we will not call blue yellow to please those who insist on still having jaundice, nor make a midden of the world’s garden for the sake of some who cannot abide the smell of roses.’

from Lewis’ The Great Divorce, p135-137

With just two months left of my time here in BiH I’ve decided to get back to blogging!

Let me kick off by telling you about a revealing conversation I had with one of my Intermediate classes this week.

I began the lesson with a quote from Ghandi on the white board. Before getting the students to discuss it I asked them, “So what do you know about Ghandi? What was his nationality?”

Their reply? ”Hindu.”

It was yet another reminder that in the Balkans (as in much of the world really), ‘religion’ is synonymous with ethnicity and national identity. This is what we’re up against. There seem to be so many blockers, I’m just glad the Lord is sovereign, powerful and gracious. He is willing and able to save, whatever obstacles there seem to be.

I love hearing and reading stories of brothers and sisters who have run the race before me. God WANTS us to learn from them, as Hebrews 11 shows. In all these stories the glory has to go to the Lord Jesus, for He is the author and perfector of our faith. Good biographies will show us that it is His grace saves and sustains His people right to the end, that he is trustworthy in all circumstances and worth treasuring above all things. Since being here in BiH I’ve really been moved by and learnt a lot from Eileen Crossman’s ‘Mountain Rain’, about the life of the CIM missionary James O Fraser, and ’Caught in the Web’ by Faith Cook, which is a historical novel but well researched to the extent that it gives us an insight in to the lives of Lady Jane Grey and other other saints who suffered during the religious turbulance of Tudor England.  I recommend reading both! John Piper has also produced a load of biographies that you can find to here. This evening I listened to the one JP did on George Mueller. Here’s a little extract:

Twenty minutes after four, Lord’s Day, February 6, 1870, Mary [his wife] died. “I fell on my knees and thanked God for her release, and for having taken her to Himself, and asked the Lord to help and support us.” He recalled later how he strengthened himself during these hours. And here we see the key to his life.

‘The last portion of scripture which I read to my precious wife was this: “The Lord God is a sun and shield, the Lord will give grace and glory, no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.” Now, if we have believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, we have received grace, we are partakers of grace, and to all such he will give glory also. I said to myself, with regard to the latter part, “no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly”—I am in myself a poor worthless sinner, but I have been saved by the blood of Christ; and I do not live in sin, I walk uprightly before God. Therefore, if it is really good for me, my darling wife will be raised up again; sick as she is. God will restore her again. But if she is not restored again, then it would not be a good thing for me. And so my heart was at rest. I was satisfied with God. And all this springs, as I have often said before, from taking God at his word, believing what he says.^‘

Oh God, please do the same in me. Work in my heart so that it will ALWAYS take you at your word and rest in your promises.

Words and symbols have various connotations that can differ from place to place. As I’ve found, it’s so important to figure out what comes in to people’s minds when using certain ones. For example:

‘Cross’. Wearing a cross as a piece of jewelery or on clothing, or using the word willy nilly without saying what you mean exactly, is not a good idea in Bosnia. Bosniaks are reminded of how during the war Serbs used to cut crosses into muslim’s foreheads, arms and chests.

‘Christian’. To call yourself a Christian is to ally yourself to a particular political party.

‘Protestant’. I thought that by calling myself a protestant I would avoid being viewed as either catholic or orthodox (and all the ethnic history, political and religious baggage that comes with it). However in speaking practice yesterday with a Catholic girl, she said to me with genuine sincerity, ’Oh yeah I know what protestant churches are about – it’s so you can get divorced easily’. Right. So obviously that’s not helpful either. I guess we have Henry VIII to thank for getting the ball rolling on that particular misunderstanding…

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:2-6

Heavenly Father, thank you so much for sending your Son in to this horrible world! You were willing to give him up at such a great cost so that we could be bought and redeemed. But your Son is such a mystery here. Please provide open doors so that the real message of what the cross means can be communicated to people here. Please help me to explain things clearly and to make the most of opportunities when they come up. I feel so unqualified and am nervous of making mistakes in the words that I use, but please give me the wisdom you promise can be ours when we ask for it. Let me be wise and full of grace and saltiness so that I will know how to answer everyone. Lord please do this for your glory. Let people have a right understanding of who you are as the Saviour King and Lord of all creation, and also what it looks like to be a part of your kingdom, which isn’t an earthly political one, but a heavenly eternal one. Do this so that your name might be worshipped and praised forever by Bosnians! AMEN.

Psalm 92v1-2

It is good to give thanks to the LORD,
   to sing praises to your name, O Most High;
to declare your steadfast love in the morning,
   and your faithfulness by night

 

Anyone who knows me even vaguely well will know that when it comes to ellie beags and navigating, simply getting to places can be quite a traumatic experience at times. This has lessened a bit since I’ve grown used to the fact that whenever I attempt to go somewhere new I will almost certainly get lost at point along the route. Well, nearly three weeks ago now I arrived in Tuzla, on time and in one piece, and for that I thank God and for what he showed me along the way! The whole thing was such a clear message that God was looking after me and that I could entrust myself into his sovereign care. I was so joyful by the time I arrived in Tuzla!

 

Here are some examples:

1) According to the WizzAir website I should have been charged 75 quid because my suitcase was over the limit. I breezed through check in however without having to pay any extra.

2) I had some problems at baggage control which meant that I only reached the departure gate in the nick of time. But I made it!! (A piece of advice: don’t take scissors in your hand luggage!)

3) At Zagreb airport I put my bags on to the shuttle bus and managed to find out from the driver (who didn’t speak English) that I had half an hour to kill before the bus was due to leave. I thought this meant that I could go for a leisurely wander, get something to eat, find the toilets etc. When I got back all the seats on the bus were filled and my bags were buried behind 60 or so other pieces of luggage. The bus was about to leave and the driver didn’t have a clue what I was going on about when I tried to explain the situation. THEN, two men changed their plans and decided to get off at the last minute and I was able to get on. Phew! 

4) Once on the coach from Zagreb to Tuzla, I must have thought that the safest place to put my ticket was in my purse. I forgot I’d done this, so when the ticket inspector came round after 20 minutes on the road, despite my frantic searching through bags, I couldn’t find it anywhere. Amidst a barrage of Croatian I didn’t understand, all I could work out to say was ‘ne karta’ (no ticket). The inspector wasn’t very happy at this, but a lovely old lady who had seen me buy a ticket in Zagreb seemed to plead my case and convince him I wasn’t a stow away and had in fact just lost it. I still had to buy another ticket at the half way stop of Osijek, but I was just SO SO glad that I wasn’t dumped in the middle of the croatian countryside.

5) To use the toilets along the 6 hour bus route required a payment of 3 Kuna (that’s the croatian currency). I only had euros with me. An old lady had seen me try to pay unsuccessfully with euros and came over to give me some Kuna. What a relief!

6) My flip flops gave me blisters. Soon after arriving, my flat mate Kathryn said that she had found some spare ones and asked if I wanted them. They have since proved much comfier than the last pair!

 

So, at every point of potential calamity, the Lord heard my prayers and was very kind to me!! I don’t deserve to be helped at all, but God delights to give good gifts to his children even though we are rubbishy and sinful. And on this particular journey, when I was feeling pretty vulnerable in a strange place and not knowing what was ahead, these little helps were like a gentle reminder that I wasn’t on my own and that I could trust him in every situation.

 

He doesn’t promise to protect us from all ’thorns in the side’, and I know that they will come, but he does promise to give grace sufficient whatever we face. In fact, he who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? All things needed, that is, for our eternal good and his glory

This is my current favourite hymn. I’ve been having a bit of a wobble recently about leaving for Bosnia (I’m going to miss everyone so much!) but singing this has been a good way of preaching truth to myself!

We rest on Thee, our Shield and our Defender!
We go not forth alone against the foe;
Strong in Thy strength, safe in Thy keeping tender,
We rest on Thee, and in Thy Name we go.
Strong in Thy strength, safe in Thy keeping tender,
We rest on Thee, and in Thy Name we go.

Yes, in Thy Name, O Captain of salvation!
In Thy dear Name, all other names above;
Jesus our Righteousness, our sure Foundation,
Our Prince of glory and our King of love.
Jesus our Righteousness, our sure Foundation,
Our Prince of glory and our King of love.

We go in faith, our own great weakness feeling,
And needing more each day Thy grace to know:
Yet from our hearts a song of triumph pealing,
“We rest on Thee, and in Thy Name we go.”
Yet from our hearts a song of triumph pealing,
“We rest on Thee, and in Thy Name we go.”

We rest on Thee, our Shield and our Defender!
Thine is the battle, Thine shall be the praise;
When passing through the gates of pearly splendor,
Victors, we rest with Thee, through endless days.
When passing through the gates of pearly splendor,
Victors, we rest with Thee, through endless days.

This was also the last hymn that a group missionaries to the Auca people in Ecuador (Jim Elliot and co.) sang before they died.

Have a listen to the song below and find out about the amazing things God did through them. It’s a great testimony of how “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Christian Book Summaries If you’re anything like me, there are far more books that you want to read than maybe you have time for. This website produces detailed summaries on a range of books, including stuff by authors such as John Piper, Mark Dever, Ravi Zacharias and even the old puritan dude Richard Baxter.

Christian Audio Each month a new audio book is made available free to download. So far there’s been such classics as Pilgrims Progress by John Bunyan and Religious Affections by Jonathan Edwards. Great soul food for when you’re travelling about.

Biblical Training This website provides audio and reading material free of charge and it’s all quality evangelical stuff. The ‘classes’ are divided into four categories, ranging from someone who is not a follower of Jesus all the way up to seminary level.

Lord, thank you for the internet

At the moment I’m reading a book called ‘Are Miraculous Gifts for Today?’ In this volume, which is edited by Wayne Grudem, four different authors contribute a chapter that outlines their position and then the other three write a short piece in response. The debate over which of the Holy Spirit’s gifts are still active in the church today and how they are to be exercised is an issue that I have thought about quite a bit, ever since I became a Christian really. I’ve changed my mind pretty often though and haven’t really been able to pin down exactly what I believe, and on what basis. So, I’m praying that through this book God will help me to understand exactly what He says through His word, the Bible, on this subject.

Being a part of the Christian Union at Warwick has blessed me in so many ways, especially in understanding that the gospel is central in evangelism, salvation, and discipleship. It is of ‘first importance’. It is also important, however, for Christians to have convictions on ‘secondary issues’. For instance, Paul states that in the debate over whether one day is more sacred than others, ‘each one should be fully convinced in his own mind’ (Romans 14:5). Our opinions need to be reached as a result of having wrestled with scripture, rather than accepting automatically the position of own church background or experience. ‘Be Biblical, not tribal’ was a really helpful nugget of advice I gleaned from Forum last summer.

When I’ve finished thinking/ praying/ reading about it, I’ll post my own position on here. Hopefully this’ll be before Bosnia, but if not it will have to be at Christmas because I don’t think it will make the shortlist of stuff to take, I only have a 20kg baggage limit!

I admit that when reading sections of the Old Testament (and the prophets especially), in the past I’ve often just skipped over bits on sin and judgement. Then, I thought of them as less relevant for Christians who are already saved from God’s wrath; the temptation was to the simply fast forward to what I considered the ‘happier’ bits.

Towards the end of the second sermon in Josh Harris’ brilliant eight part series on Jeremiah (thanks Charissa for recommending it to me a while back!), Harris gives a great reason for Christians to read Old Testament passages, such as those in Jeremiah, about sin and judgement.

Passages like this are a glorious reminder of what a precious thing it is to be saved from sin. God’s judgement is real and that makes rescue even more incredible.

Here’s a question: is God’s mercy at the cross precious to you? Or have you grown familiar with it? Don’t grow familiar with being rescued.

As we study Jeremiah together don’t skim over these sections that talk about sin and God’s hatred for sin, because it describes what you once were. Read those sections carefully; read them like a survivor of Johnstown must have read reports of the disaster after the flood. Say to yourself, “that should have been me… that wall of death was coming my way”. And as you consider that, the amazing grace of Jesus Christ who stepped in front of you and bore that wrath will become all the more precious, more amazing, all the more sweet.

After a bit of pondering I’ve thought of a few more reasons to read and carefully consider these kinds of passages.

Not only should we be thankful and thrilled when considering what we’ve been saved from, but also by what these passages say about the character of our God – that he is completely righteous, perfect and holy. These passages should shape our view of God so that we can really worship him for who he is – for his majesty and holiness, as well as his other attributes. The complete otherness of God compared with sinful man only makes us marvel all the more that he came into this horrible world as one of us. How amazing that THIS GOD should set his love on a sinner like me and provide a way for us to be reconciled by giving his Son! A belief in the white hot righteousness of God will have a profound effect on our faith – it’s not just some dry theory. It will lead us to trust that he is right and good, all the time, even when we don’t fully understand his ways and judgements. See Paul’s response for example, he bursts out in to praise – Romans 11:33-36

Another reason is that these passages help us see the seriousness of sin and our need to confess and kill it, since we have a new self and are children of light rather than darkness. With the help and conviction brought by the Holy Spirit, reading about God’s feelings towards the sin of his people in the Old Testament helps us to recognise it in ourselves as well. We are told to look back as a warning: Hebrews 3:7-14

So, as the Holy Spirit says:
“Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion,
during the time of testing in the desert,
where your fathers tested and tried me
and for forty years saw what I did.
That is why I was angry with that generation,
and I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray,
and they have not known my ways.’
So I declared on oath in my anger,
‘They shall never enter my rest.’ ” See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first

The blessed path for God’s children involves uncovering our sin before him, acknowledging its wickedness and seeking his grace to restore our peace and joy in him – see Psalm 32 (and if you want to hear a great sermon on this, click here).

A third additional reason is that it reminds us of the great need there is to hold out the gospel to others and urge them to repent and trust Christ alone, ie evangelism. As God’s children, we will long to see the Lord’s renown in all the earth, to see lives that worship God instead of those that rebel against him. As we recognise what an immense gift our salvation is, we should want to tell others the about the good news of the gospel too, like one begger telling another where delicious food can be found, as well as warning them of the consequences of rejecting it.

* All Scripture * is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17